Why Reward Systems Fail Long-Term Motivation
Reward systems can make children and parents overly reliant on external incentives, undermining the development of intrinsic motivation. When children are constantly rewarded for their actions, they may start to expect a reward for every task they complete, leading to a dependency on these external motivators. This reliance can diminish their internal drive to engage in activities for their inherent satisfaction and enjoyment.
Similarly, parents may become dependent on reward systems as an easy way to encourage desired behaviors, rather than fostering a deeper, more lasting form of motivation.
Extrinsic Motivation
Extrinsic motivation refers to behavior driven by external rewards, such as praise, money, or other tangible incentives. When children are extrinsically motivated, they perform tasks to earn a reward or avoid punishment, rather than for the enjoyment or satisfaction derived from the activity itself.
For example, a child might complete their homework to receive a sticker or a treat from their parents, or they might clean their room to avoid being grounded.
While extrinsic motivators can be effective in the short term, they often do not lead to sustained engagement or a deep connection to the activity.
Intrinsic Motivation
Intrinsic motivation, on the other hand, comes from within the individual. It is driven by personal interest, enjoyment, and the inherent satisfaction of the task itself. When children are intrinsically motivated, they engage in activities because they find them interesting, enjoyable, or fulfilling.
For example, a child who loves reading might spend hours immersed in books simply because they enjoy the stories and learning new things. Another child might practice playing the piano because they find joy in creating music and mastering new pieces.
Let’s compare:
Extrinsic Motivation: A child completes their chores to earn extra screen time or a new toy.
Intrinsic Motivation: A child completes their chores because they like the sense of accomplishment and enjoy having a clean and organized space.
While extrinsic rewards can be useful for encouraging specific behaviors, they should be used sparingly and strategically to avoid creating dependency.
Encouraging intrinsic motivation involves helping children find personal meaning and satisfaction in their activities, fostering a lifelong love of learning and personal growth.
This can be achieved by supporting their interests, providing opportunities for autonomy, and creating a positive and engaging environment that celebrates effort and progress rather than just outcomes.
10 Tips for Parents to Help Increase Intrinsic Motivation in Their Children:
1) Encourage Curiosity: Foster a sense of wonder and curiosity by allowing your child to explore their interests and ask questions. Create an environment where learning is seen as an exciting adventure.
Example: When your child shows interest in space, take them to a planetarium, read books about the solar system together, and encourage them to ask questions about the universe. This approach fosters a sense of wonder and makes learning an exciting adventure.
2) Set Meaningful Goals: Help your child set personal and meaningful goals. Ensure these goals are challenging yet achievable, and relevant to their interests and passions.
Example: If your child loves drawing, help them set a goal to complete a small art project by the end of the month. Break the project into manageable steps, such as sketching, coloring, and framing their artwork, ensuring the goal is challenging yet achievable.
3) Provide Autonomy: Give your child a sense of control over their learning and activities. Allow them to make choices and decisions, which can help build their sense of responsibility and ownership.
Example: Let your child choose their extracurricular activities. If they express an interest in soccer, allow them to decide whether they want to join a team, practice with friends, or watch soccer games to learn more. This autonomy builds their sense of control and responsibility.
4) Model Enthusiasm: Show your own passion for learning and personal growth. Children often emulate their parents, so demonstrating a love for learning can inspire them to develop similar attitudes.
Example: Share your passion for reading by setting aside time each evening for family reading sessions. Talk about the books you’re reading, why you enjoy them, and ask your child to share their favorite parts of their books. Your enthusiasm can inspire their love for reading.
5) Celebrate Effort, Not Just Results: Focus on the effort your child puts into their tasks rather than just the outcomes. Praise their persistence, hard work, and progress, which can reinforce their internal drive to succeed.
Example: When your child studies hard for a test, praise their dedication and the time they spent preparing, regardless of the grade they receive. Highlight their progress and the new skills they’ve learned, reinforcing the value of effort.
6) Create a Positive Learning Environment: Provide a supportive and encouraging environment where mistakes are seen as opportunities for growth. Avoid criticism and instead offer constructive feedback.
Example: If your child makes a mistake on a school project, focus on what they can learn from the experience rather than criticizing the error. Offer constructive feedback and discuss how they can improve next time, fostering a supportive atmosphere.
7) Connect Learning to Interests: Relate learning activities to your child’s personal interests and hobbies. Making connections between what they love and what they need to learn can increase their intrinsic motivation.
Example: If your child loves cooking, use it as an opportunity to teach math by measuring ingredients and timing the cooking process. Relating these activities to their interests can increase their motivation to learn.
8) Encourage Self-Reflection: Teach your child to reflect on their experiences and learning processes. Encourage them to think about what they enjoyed, what they found challenging, and how they overcame obstacles.
Example: After a piano recital, ask your child what they enjoyed about performing and what they found challenging. Discuss how they felt about their practice sessions and what they might do differently next time, promoting self-reflection.
9) Promote a Growth Mindset: Encourage a mindset that values effort and learning over innate ability. Teach your child that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work.
Example: When your child struggles with a difficult math problem, remind them that it’s an opportunity to learn and grow. Encourage them to keep trying and emphasize that their skills can improve with practice and effort.
10) Support Social Connections: Foster opportunities for your child to collaborate and learn with others. Social interactions and the sense of belonging to a community can enhance their motivation and engagement.
Example: Arrange study groups or playdates where your child can collaborate with peers on school projects or shared hobbies. These social interactions can enhance their motivation and make learning more enjoyable.
By focusing on these strategies, parents can help their children develop a love for learning and a strong sense of intrinsic motivation.
Notes on the Author
Ilse Gevaert is a psychologist and coach with expertise in neurodiversity (ASD and ADHD), giftedness, trauma, narcissistic abuse, and resilience. Ilse continued her education at prestigious institutions such as Harvard and Cornell, where she obtained leadership certificates that have informed her practice.
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