When we think of a “leader”, many think of an authoritative figure standing at the front of the room, directing traffic and making demands. This stereotype of the commanding boss has persisted through decades of workplace culture, but it fundamentally misunderstands what true leadership means.
Leadership isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room or having all the answers. At its core, leadership is about enabling others to succeed and working collectively toward shared goals. The most effective leaders aren’t focused on asserting their authority – they’re creating an environment where their team members can thrive.
The Need for Adaptability
One of the most challenging aspects of leadership is recognizing that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Each team member brings their own working style, personality, and needs to the table. Some thrive with frequent check-ins and detailed guidance, while others perform best with autonomy and space to experiment. A skilled leader must be adaptable, often stepping outside their own comfort zone to provide the type of support each individual requires.
This adaptability often means developing qualities that don’t come naturally. Leaders who flexibly switch between leadership styles are best positioned to meet the diverse needs of their teams. By thoughtfully weaving together warmth, competence, aspiration, structure, and support, leaders can create a work environment where everyone can thrive.
Bringing It All Together
– Warmth fosters trust and human connection.
– Competence reassures the team that the leader knows their craft.
– Aspiration inspires the team to reach beyond the status quo.
– Direction & Structure create clarity and reduce confusion.
– Support & Development help individuals grow and stay engaged.
The key is recognizing that leadership isn’t about being authentic to yourself at all costs – it’s about being authentic while stretching to meet the needs of your team.
The Critical Role of Emotional Intelligence
At the heart of effective leadership lies emotional intelligence – the ability to understand and manage both your own emotions and those of others.
A common pitfall in leadership is assuming that what motivates us will motivate others.
3 Primary Motivational Drivers
Below is a succinct overview of three primary motivational drivers according to the Schwartz’s theory of human values (Schwartz, 2001), and how they can manifest in the workplace:
- Achievement: Excelling at tasks and meeting high standards of performance. Individuals driven by achievement often set ambitious goals, welcome challenges, and measure their success through tangible outcomes or clear benchmarks.
- Affiliation: Building and maintaining warm, supportive relationships. Team members motivated by affiliation typically value harmony, collaboration, and belonging. They thrive in environments where trust and camaraderie are prioritized.
- Power: Influencing or guiding others and being recognized for that influence. Power-motivated individuals may seek leadership roles or opportunities to shape decisions. When constructive, this drive can foster strong leadership and team direction; when misaligned, it may lead to over-control or unhealthy competition.
By recognizing these different motivational drivers, leaders can tailor their approach to each individual, providing the right mix of challenges, relationship-building, and autonomy or authority.
Understanding these differences requires leaders to:
– Develop self-awareness about their own emotional responses and biases
– Practice active listening to truly understand their team members’ perspectives
– Manage their own emotional reactions, especially in high-stress situations
– Adapt their communication and motivation strategies for different individuals
Leadership as a Service
Perhaps the most transformative way to think about leadership is to view it as a service role rather than a position of authority.
The question shifts from “How can I direct my team?” to “How can I help my team succeed?”
How Can I Help My Team Succeed?
This service-oriented mindset manifests in various ways:
– Providing learning and growth opportunities tailored to individual interests
– Creating psychological safety where team members feel comfortable taking risks
– Advocating for team members’ needs and achievements with upper management
– Building bridges between different personalities and working styles
The Journey of Growth
Becoming an effective leader is a continuous journey of growth and learning. It requires humility to acknowledge that we don’t have all the answers and courage to step outside our comfort zones. The most successful leaders are those who:
– Remain curious about their team members’ perspectives and needs
– Actively seek feedback about their leadership style and impact
– Acknowledge their mistakes and learn from them openly
– Continue developing new skills and approaches as their team evolves
Leadership isn’t about being perfect or always knowing the right answer. It’s about creating an environment where everyone can contribute their best work toward shared goals. When we move beyond the stereotype of the authoritative boss and embrace leadership as a flexible, service-oriented role, we unlock the full potential of our teams and organizations.
The next time you think about leadership, consider this: The best leaders aren’t necessarily the ones who stand out front – they’re the ones who make sure everyone else has what they need to succeed. In doing so, they create something far more powerful than individual achievement: collective success built on mutual understanding and support.
About the Author
Ilse Gevaert is a psychologist and coach with expertise in neurodiversity (such as Autism and ADHD), giftedness, twice-exceptionality (2e), trauma, narcissistic abuse recovery, and resilience. Ilse continued her education at prestigious institutions such as Harvard and Cornell, where she obtained leadership certificates that have informed her practice.
Contact: ilse.resilientminds@gmail.com
References
Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional intelligence. New York, Bantam Books
Margolis, J., Mayo, A. (2024). Leadership Principles. Harvard Business School Online. Online Business Certificate Course.
Schwartz, S. H., Melech, G., Lehmann, A., Burgess, S., Harris, M., & Owens, V. (2001). Portrait Values Questionnaire (PVQ)
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