Unlocking the Beauty of Autism: A Neurological Perspective

I cringe when I see behavioral therapists attempting to “correct” children with autism, missing the deeper truth that lies beneath the surface. They often focus on changing behaviors without understanding the complex neurological landscape they’re navigating. It’s like trying to teach a cat to swim without realizing that first, the cat needs to feel safe near water.

When we truly understand autism through a neurological lens, we see that what looks like “problematic behavior” is often a nervous system working overtime to feel safe in an overwhelming world. Those “behaviors” are not problems to be fixed, but communications to be understood.

Working with autism requires patience and understanding – not correction. And when we bring this deeper wisdom, not just doors but portals open. We see children blossom when they finally feel safe enough to explore and connect.

Let me share what I’ve learned about creating genuine safety for the nervous system, starting with a simple story about a cat that teaches us everything we need to know about how our nervous systems work when they’re functioning smoothly…

The Tale of a Cat’s Perfect Balance

Picture a cat lounging in a patch of warm sunlight. Suddenly, a loud noise startles her – in an instant, she’s alert, ears perked, ready to move. But once she realizes it’s just a book falling, she settles right back into her peaceful nap. This simple scene shows us something remarkable about how our nervous system works when it’s functioning smoothly – able to respond to potential danger and return to calm easily:

– Peaceful rest → Sudden alert → Back to peace

– No getting stuck in high alert

– No lingering anxiety

– Just smooth transitions based on real-time information

Why This Matters for Understanding Autism

Dr. Stephen Porges discovered that for many people with autism, these transitions aren’t quite so smooth. Shifting between different states can be more challenging. Imagine if our cat stayed on high alert long after realizing the noise was harmless or had trouble settling back into that peaceful nap.

Understanding Our Body’s Safety System

Let’s return to our cat in the sunlight. When she’s dozing peacefully and suddenly hears a noise, she’s not consciously thinking “Should I be worried about that sound?” Her body automatically assesses the situation. This automatic assessment is what Dr. Porges calls “neuroception” – our body’s unconscious way of deciding if situations are safe, dangerous, or life-threatening.

Why Understanding Neuroception Changes Everything

It’s Not About Choice

– When someone appears “unwilling” to engage, they’re often feeling genuinely unsafe

– You can’t talk someone out of their neuroception

– Logic doesn’t override this system

– “Just relax” never works

Think of it like taming a shy cat – you can’t convince it to trust you through arguments, but you can create an environment where trust naturally develops over time.

How to Help: Creating Safety First

The Golden Rule

Instead of trying to change behaviors, focus on creating feelings of safety. It’s like creating a cozy, comfortable space where someone can naturally relax and be themselves.

Multi-Sensory Comfort Strategies: Supporting the Nervous System 

Picture our cat again – when she feels safe, notice how she creates her own comfort: kneading soft blankets with her paws, purring rhythmically, finding warm sunlight, and choosing cozy spaces. She instinctively knows how to use multiple senses to regulate her nervous system. We can learn from this natural wisdom.

Multi-Sensory Comfort Strategies

1. Touch Comfort (Tactile)

Gentle touch can be deeply regulating:

– Weighted blankets (like a warm, gentle hug)

– Different texture experiences:

  * Soft fleece blankets

  * Smooth stones to hold

  * Squishy stress balls

  * Memory foam pillows

– Deep pressure options:

  * Compression clothing

  * Rolling between cushions

  * Bear hugs (when welcomed)

– Temperature comfort:

  * Warm baths

  * Cool face cloths

  * Heated blankets

  * Cold packs for hands

2. Movement Comfort (Vestibular)

Rhythmic movement can be very calming:

– Gentle rocking:

  * Rocking chairs

  * Glider swings

  * Hammocks

– Linear movement:

  * Slow swinging

  * Sliding

  * Rolling

– Spinning (if enjoyed):

  * Spin cushions

  * Rotating chairs

  * Dance movements

3. Sound Comfort (Auditory)

Calming sounds can help regulate:

– Nature sounds:

  * Rain falling

  * Ocean waves

  * Bird songs

  * Wind in trees

– Music options:

  * Classical pieces

  * Simple melodies

  * Humming

– White noise:

  * Fan sounds

  * Air purifiers

  * Sound machines

  * Water fountains

4. Visual Comfort (Visual)

Soothing sights can create calm:

– Lighting options:

  * Dim lighting

  * Natural sunlight

  * Color-changing lamps

  * Fairy lights

– Visual movement:

  * Lava lamps

  * Bubble tubes

  * Light projectors

– Calming spaces:

  * Cozy corners

  * Blanket forts

  * Natural views

  * Simple, uncluttered areas

5. Smell Comfort (Olfactory)

Familiar scents can be grounding:

– Natural scents:

  * Lavender

  * Vanilla

  * Fresh air

  * Pine

– Personal favorites:

  * Favorite foods

  * Clean laundry

  * Familiar soaps

  * Loved ones’ scents

6. Body Position Comfort (Proprioceptive)

How we hold our body matters:

– Cozy positions:

  * Curled up

  * Stretched out

  * Wrapped in blankets

  * Between cushions

– Pressure positions:

  * Against walls

  * Under weighted items

  * In tight spaces

  * Between bean bags

Creating Multi-Sensory Spaces

Calm Down Corner

Create a special space with:

– Soft seating

– Weighted items

– Favorite textures

– Gentle lighting

– Soothing sounds

– Pleasant scents

Movement Area

Designate a space for:

– Swinging

– Rocking

– Spinning

– Rolling

– Stretching

Comfort Kit

Pack a portable kit with:

– Fidget toys

– Stress ball

– Favorite scent

– Small weighted item

– Sound-blocking headphones

– Sunglasses

Using These Strategies

Start Slow

– Introduce one new sensory experience at a time

– Observe responses carefully

– Let the person explore at their own pace

– Follow their preferences

Create Rituals

– Morning comfort routines

– Transition time activities

– Bedtime settling sequences

– Stress-relief practices

Remember

Everyone’s sensory preferences are unique. What feels calming to one person might be overwhelming to another. The key is to:

– Observe carefully

– Respect preferences

– Offer choices

– Stay flexible

– Build slowly

– Trust their lead

Signs of Success

You’ll know these strategies are working when you see:

– More relaxed body language

– Easier transitions

– Better sleep

– Calmer responses

– More engagement

– Natural regulation

Think of it like our cat friend – the goal is to help create an environment where shifting between states becomes more natural and comfortable, where finding calm is as intuitive as a cat finding the perfect sunny spot for a nap.

About the Author

Ilse Gevaert is a psychologist and coach with expertise in neurodiversity (Autism and ADHD), giftedness, trauma, narcissistic abuse, and resilience. Ilse continued her education at prestigious institutions such as Harvard and Cornell, where she obtained leadership certificates that have informed her practice.

Read More on This Topic

Stimming: Understanding and Embracing Self-Regulatory Behaviors

Understanding Emotional Regulation for Neurodivergent Individuals

Daniel’s Journey Through Autism, Bullying, and Triumph

The Power of Neurodiversity: Embracing Different Ways of Thinking

References

Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W W Norton & Co.

Porges, S. W. (2018). Polyvagal Theory: A primer. In S. W. Porges & D. Dana (Eds.), Clinical applications of the polyvagal theory: The emergence of polyvagal-informed therapies (pp. 50–69). W. W. Norton & Company.Porges, S. W. (2021). Polyvagal Theory: A biobehavioral journey to sociality. Comprehensive Psychoneuroendocrinology, 100069.

Dr. Stephen Porges’ Safe and Sound Protocol. https://integratedlistening.com/polyvagal-theory/porges/

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